


No Greater Love

by zebraljb



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:55:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22037398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/pseuds/zebraljb
Summary: Harry loses his father and realizes he's the last of the Hart line. No children to carry on his name or benefit from his words of wisdom.  He has a bit of a meltdown and Merlin can only stand by and watch.
Relationships: Harry Hart | Galahad/Merlin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 75





	No Greater Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Eggsyobsessed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggsyobsessed/gifts).



> To my beautiful Eggsyobsessed, who is having a crap time of it lately. All the things you like. Fluff, Merlahad, Paternal Harry/Filial Eggsy (it pains me but for you I will write it). I hope you feel better.

NO GREATER LOVE

Merlin silently unlocks the door and swings it open, allowing Harry to enter first. They both shake off their umbrellas and their coats before hanging everything up. “Can I make ye a cup of tea, Harry?”

“No, thank you.”

“Something stronger, then?” Merlin puts a gentle hand on Harry’s shoulder. He isn’t TOO surprised when his husband shrugs it off.

“I can take care of myself, thank you.” Harry stalks off to the living room. Merlin gives him a moment before following, leaning in the doorway as Harry goes straight to the liquor cabinet and makes himself a drink.

“I must say, Harry…I’m a little surprised that ye are so upset.” Merlin doesn’t know if voicing his opinion is a good idea, but Harry’s already in a mood. It’s not like he can make it any worse.

“Am I some sort of monster that I would be upset at my father’s funeral?” The words come out as a growl, and if Merlin was a lesser man, he might have flinched.

“That is nae what I said. When was the last time ye talked to him?”

“At my mother’s funeral in two thousand twelve.”

“And before that?”

“When I came out to him in ninety-six. You know all this already, Merlin.”

“Humor me. And WHY did ye nae talk to him in all this time?”

“Because he was a homophobic bastard who told me I was going to burn in hell…that I was a black mark on the family name, and that he was actually thankful the Hart line would die off with me.” Harry tosses the drink back and makes another. “Not to mention the shame I caused him by ‘only being a tailor.’ His words, of course.”

“Ye know what ye have done in the name of Kingsman, Harry. Just because HE can’t know that…”

“Yes, I know. We don’t do things for the accolades, we do them because they must be done. It doesn’t make it any easier!” Harry slams the glass down. “Don’t act like you understand, Hamish, because you don’t. You never will. You came from a loving family, one that supported you no matter what. Yes, I know the story of poor Hamish, working three jobs to pay his way through university. Poor Hamish, with a mother and father who visited him whenever they could, and sent him care packages while he was away. Poor Hamish, whose mother called him every week, and was desperately proud of his job as an IT consultant for a Saville Row tailor, and who didn’t care that her son was a homosexual. Poor Hamish…who was at his mother’s side when she passed because she refused to go before he got there.” Harry finishes another drink. “I might have had that as well, if I hadn’t admitted to my parents that I like a cock in my arse.” He pours a third. Merlin does flinch now, unaccustomed to this nasty side of his husband. He’s heard it before, but never directed at Merlin himself. Not like this. “Maybe that’s what I should have done. I should have just dealt with my ‘unholy cravings,’ as my mother called them, and married the right woman. Had a few children…a son. Someone to carry on my name. Someone to take a part of me into the future…show that I was here, that I offered something to society.”

“So…what we have…it’s not as important as your impact on the world around you?” Merlin asks quietly.

“I didn’t say that.”

“Ye did, actually. Ye said that ye should have nae admitted your homosexuality and lived a lie with a woman.” Merlin shrugs. 

“I didn’t say that,” Harry repeats. “You know I love you. But I just wonder…would I have left my mark on the world? Has anyone other than the people we’ve saved benefitted from my existence? Other than you,” he adds quickly.

“I cannot say, Harry,” Merlin replies sadly. “I think ye wish to be alone right now. I’ll be upstairs.”

“Hamish,” Harry says, but Merlin leaves the room and slowly plods up the steps. He sits on the edge of the bed for a long moment before reaching for his phone.

“Thank you, Father,” Harry mumbles to himself. He fixes a fourth drink and sits down on the sofa, loosening his tie and sighing. “You’re not even alive anymore and you’re the cause of an argument with my husband.”

He knows he’s hurt Merlin’s feelings, although the man is far too stoic to show it. Merlin is the best thing that’s ever happened to him. He’s filled the void left by parents that decided to act as if he’d never existed once he’d come out to them as a young man. He wouldn’t trade Merlin in for the most beautiful wife on the planet, or a dozen of the best children in existence.

But seeing his father’s casket go into the ground, having his relatives treat him as if he was no better than a stray dog, that made him think. Would his life have been any better if he’d have done as he was told, hid his true feelings and ‘done what was correct’? There will never be another Hart child; Harry is the last of the line. He has no son or daughter to carry on his name. No one to tell the family stories, or use the wisdom Harry has to offer. He’d never cared before now, never wanted a baby or a small child around. But having someone to care about his passing…that would be nice.

He manages to get the glass onto the table before dozing off on the sofa, head falling back against the cushion. It’s only a tapping on his knee that wakes him, a dip in the cushion next to him. “Whaaa?”

“Hey, Harry.” Eggsy gives him a tentative smile. “You all right?”

“Fine, dear boy. Just fine. What brings you here today on your day off?” Harry can’t help but roll his eyes at the jeans, polo, and snapback. He’s tried and tried but never succeeded when it comes to Eggsy and his ideas on fashion.

“Merlin called me. Said you were having a bit of a…”

“Strop?”

“No. He said the word breakdown, I think.”

“I am fine,” Harry says stubbornly, cursing his meddling husband. “My father was buried today. Of course I’m having an emotional day. So I sat down to have a drink and a bit of a nap.”

“Don’t think you’re telling me the truth.” Eggsy reaches over and picks up the half-full martini glass. “And by the haze in your good eye, I know you’re done with these.” He finishes the glass and makes a face. “Ugh.”

“You are incorrigible,” Harry says, shaking his head. “So why did my lovely husband make you run all the way over here?”

“He didn’t. I offered. He just needed to talk a bit…sounds like you do, too.”

“I will repeat…I’m fine.”

“Good.” Eggsy hums for a moment, taps his fingers on his knee. “Broke up with Tilde yesterday,” he says suddenly and Harry’s eyes widen.

“What?”

“Yeah, it just…I love her so much and all, but it’s not right. I mean, she’s so busy with her country, and I’m busy with Kingsman stuff. Feelings are all there, and we care about each other, but I don’t like her worrying about me.” He shrugs. “For the best.”

“My dear boy, I’m so sorry!” Harry forgets his own problems and rests a hand on Eggsy’s knee. “Can I do anything?”

“Nah, thanks. Was gonna call you today, actually, but then Merlin texted me last night and said you decided to go to the funeral. I didn’t want to bother you.”

“You would never bother me, not with something like this. I know I can’t do much, but I can listen. I know what it’s like, trying to find a way to have a relationship and be an agent at the same time.”

“I know…that’s why I thought to call you before I thought about calling Jamal or my mum,” Eggsy says with a smile. “Knew you’d understand, and you’d listen.” He shrugs again. “Besides, don’t really feel right talking to Mum about relationships, although she tries to understand. More a Dad thing, ya know?”

“I suppose it is, although you and your mother have a wonderful relationship.”

“We do,” Eggsy agrees. “Plus I knew you wouldn’t try to talk me into getting back with her if I really felt it wasn’t right.”

“No. You’re a grown man, you need to trust your instincts,” Harry says immediately. “And your instincts are always good.”

“Thanks,” Eggsy says, blushing a bit. 

“If you wish to take your mind off of things, we could go out for a pint, a bite to eat?” Harry suggests. He straightens his tie and runs a hand over his hair. “We could…”

“Aw, Harry, you’re aces, but no. M’fine. Just talking to you makes me feel better, swear down,” Eggsy says earnestly.

“Well, I’m glad to help,” Harry says, feeling a bit awkward. Eggsy studies him for a moment. “Is it my hair?” He reaches up again.

“Nah, your hair is gorgeous, Harry.” Eggsy rolls his eyes. “You’ve taught me so much, you know that? Not just secret agent stuff…I’m still learning all that. But how to be a real gentleman. It’s not just about holding doors or using the right fork. It’s respecting other people’s opinions, caring about their feelings before your own. It’s interest, compliments. You’ve taught me to think before I speak or act, and you KNOW that’s been rough for me.” Eggsy gives Harry a wink as he turns to face him. “Know I ain’t the kind of person you’d want for a son…I’m a pain in your arse most of the time. But I ain’t gotta Da, and I really feel…” Harry swallows hard and sees tears in Eggsy’s eyes. “I really feel you’re the kind of man I’d want my Da to be, if I had him.”

“Eggsy,” Harry whispers, his own eye getting most. “I…I am deeply honored by that statement.”

“Merlin said you was a little upset about the fact that you’re the end of the line for your family, that you wonder if the world will care when you’re gone. I care. And I might not be your bloodline, but so much of what’s good in me now I learned from you.”

Harry doesn’t care that a true gentleman doesn’t show emotion. He leans across the sofa and pulls Eggsy into an embrace, burying his face in the strong shoulder. “You are better than any son I could have had genetically, my dear boy. I am so very proud of you, and I am quite fortunate to have you in my life.”

“I love you, Haz,” Eggsy says into his neck.

“And I you, Eggsy.”

They stay that way for a moment before pulling away, both men wiping at their eyes. Harry pulls out a handkerchief but Eggsy simply uses the hem of his shirt. Harry groans. “Some things never change.”

“Nope!” Eggsy says with a grin. “I know you ain’t having the best of days. Want me to stick around?”

“No. I believe I must grovel to my husband. I said something quite dreadful to him.”

“Yeah, I gathered that, although he didn’t say anything. He sounded a bit upset.”

“Thank you for stopping by,” Harry says, standing with Eggsy and walking him to the door. “Perhaps we could have that pint later in the week?”

“Perfect.” Eggsy squeezes Harry’s shoulder and goes out the door.

Harry stares up the steps for a long moment before finally going up to the bedroom. Merlin is laying on the bed, eyes closed, but Harry knows he isn’t sleeping. “Eggsy stopped by,” he says softly. “He said you called him. Thank you…he’s always quite good at getting me to remove my rather large head from my own arse.”

“Aye…and I think he needed to tell ye about Tilde in person.” Merlin keeps his eyes closed. “Ye know, Harry, I might have had a loving family, but that doesn’t mean I grew up knowing how to love. Or at least how to SHOW love other than to my mother. I was always painfully shy about showing my emotions, especially with the way homosexual men had to hide away even after it became legal. I could look but was afraid to touch, or afraid to ASK to touch. But when I met ye the first time, oh, I wanted to touch. I wanted to ask. I wanted to beg. And then as I got to know ye, I fell so hard so fast. Ye are the only man I have ever said ‘I love you’ to. Ye are the only man I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. And it is because of YOU, your personality, your intelligence, your heart…not because of your name or anything else.”

“Hamish.” Harry falls to his knees at the side of the bed and takes Merlin’s hand in both of his. “I’m so very sorry. I said horrible things. It is not your fault my family were monsters, just as it is not your fault your parents loved you. I was hurting and being a complete and utter twat. Can you ever forgive me?”

Merlin slowly sits up and smiles down at him. “Harry, if I gave up on forgiving ye for being a twat, we would’ve stopped speaking the day after we met. Of course I forgive ye.”

“You are the best thing in my life, darling.” Harry moves to sit next to him, cradling Merlin’s face in his hand. “You are literally my better half.”

“Of course I am.”

“And no woman could have ever, EVER, lived up to you.”

“Obviously.” But Merlin smiles and gives him a tender kiss. “Please, Harry, if ye wish to say more about what ye were feeling downstairs, go ahead. I am always here to listen.”

“No. Those were idiotic ramblings. Who cares about my family name and what I might have given to future generations? I have the best man in the world as my husband, and the second best man in the world as my adopted son. My life is as good as it is ever going to get.”

“Would your life improve if we were to strip down our clothes, snog for hours, and perhaps get each other off?”

Harry looks at Merlin for a moment before undoing his tie and throwing it across the floor. “Yes.”


End file.
